Are All Good Speakers Born With Confidence?

Are all good speakers born with confidence?


As a Speaker Coach, my methodology is grounded in three pillars:  Confidence, Content, and Connection. There is a good reason confidence is first in the trifecta. I can teach my clients all the speaking techniques I know, but they won’t have the desired impact until we tackle the confidence part.

If you crave more confidence as a speaker, try these tips:

  1. Confidence is something you build NOT something you’re born with.

Many believe that you either have it, or you don’t. This is simply not true. Confidence in any endeavor builds with effort over time. Were you confident the first time you rode a bicycle, learned to play an instrument, spoke a foreign language? I encourage you to adopt a growth mindset, take responsibility to build your confidence step by step and celebrate the small wins!

  1. Trying to please others is counterproductive in building confidence.

If you are emotionally dependent on feedback or praise from others you will never be free. Focus on doing your best in this moment,  serving your audience and releasing the outcome. Of course, you will find areas to improve next time, that’s part of the growth process. But don’t worry about pleasing others, focus instead on serving them.

  1. The only way to build lasting self-confidence is by taking action consistently.

By consistently taking action and focusing on small  improvements along the way, you teach the mind to trust itself.

  1. Pair the action with acting and speaking like the more confident version of yourself.

I call this “speaking and acting as if”. It’s not faking it. It is about acting as if you are confident. The mind does not know the difference between feeling confident and acting confident and I guarantee when you act confident, you will feel more confident as a result.

  1. Take advantage of the small opportunities to “speak or present” that come your way naturally.

This could be  a 5-minute presentation to your boss or some work colleagues, an informal talk about something you believe in with a group of friends or a short  live video on Facebook. These small “informal” presentations allow you to build your confidence muscles and are a big help when the formal speaking or live video opportunity comes your way.

  1. Be your own greatest supporter.

Most of us are our own worst critics.  Talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend. Don’t be harsh or perfectionistic.  Celebrate the small wins…that’s when your confidence grows. Like Bill Murray’s character in “What About Bob”, says “baby steps, baby steps through the office, baby steps out the door… it  works! All I have to do is take one little step at a time and I can do anything.”

And so can you my friend, so can you!